Kurt Swensen's Blog
Rain, The Cosmic Window, San Francisco, and gratitude.
November 19th in the Pacific Northwest usually means plenty of rain.
Right now Isabelle and I are just sitting in the dark listening to the rain outside. Really peaceful. Tonight I decided to turn my phone off and sit quietly. It was a good decision.
When we sit quietly we hear beyond the noise of life. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but the water landing on the roof and draining down the gutters is close to (if not better than) those fountains we buy for our homes and offices to bring us “peace.”
Sitting quietly with all electronics in the “off” position is pretty amazing. Join me??
Much Love to all, and, happy holidays. Everyone’s support of the show is amazing. I had no idea how important this podcast would become, and I am incredibly grateful and humbled for the opportunity to be a part of so many lives.
Above is “The Cosmic Window” by Narcissus Quagliata. It can be viewed at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco atop Nob Hill and across from Huntington Park. This image (and the park) has great meaning to me as it was an important part of Online Recovery Support’s episode 34, (recorded in 2009) and by far the most popular show I have done thusfar. For those of you who have not been with us that long, it is my personal story of healing, tears, and the releasing of pain. This was the turning point for myself and the show, following an exceptionally painful period in my life. While visiting San Francisco, I stepped more deeply into my truth, honesty, and Spirituality. I then became more willing to be ungaurdely vulnerable with anyone who was listening. After episode 34, we grew from a few thousand listeners, to over 100,000 listeners a week.
Be open, honest, and loving. Step into that which scares you, it is there you will find your freedom.
Again, my gratitude for all the support,
In a world of compromise, some don’t.
More “lost” episodes have been found!!
After posting episodes 14-50 and thinking we were done, my friend Gene pulls the true originals out of his collection. Gene saved episodes 4-13 with the exception of 5. So now, all that are missing are 5 and 30. 1-3 were discarded as practice pieces and episode 4 was the first real show. As I have mentioned before, the early shows have a very different feel than our recent programs but still have value and meaning. They are helpful, but in a more fundamental way. I think that listeners who are in the early stages of recovery will appreciate Gene’s work and contribution to the show.
Gene, as evidenced by his storage of these early episodes has been with us from the very beginning. Gene and I have exchanged emails and stayed in contact for more than three years and I am honored and grateful for his participation and support of the work that we do.
“The Lost Episodes” have become so popular that we are about to exceed our bandwidth for the month so as soon as we hit the new billing cycle we will offer either a new folder or figure out a way to place Gene’s contribution into the larger file. Either way, they should be available soon and I will let you know when that happens.
Much gratitude to all of you who have helped out in so many ways. It humbles me to know that we reach so many people and I am honored to be a part of so many lives.
Much Love, Kurt
“The Lost Episodes” and Happy 14th to Rob!!
During the migration and merging of ORS with kurtswensen.com we lost some of our data and certain shows produced a “file not found” message. With some help from my friend Brian we were able to restore them to the database in a 250mg zip file. The file contains episodes 14-50, for those who are interested in some of the earlier material. The shows have a very different feel than recent episodes but they all bring something a little different. 0 to 13 felt more like “practice” shows and were removed. 14 is where we started to get focussed, and somewhere around 30 is where I started feeling much more comfortable with what we were offering. Episode 34 is the most popular show by far and remains my personal favorite.
The download is free and can be stored in your Itunes library, on your desktop, or any place you have the room.
A repost from our friends at the2012scenario.com. Very cool……..
Follow up to previous
Powerful insight for addicts and alcoholics
Check this out.
Congratulations to our friend Angie…….
Not long ago, I listened to one of the archived ORS podcasts. In it
you told the story of leaving your job and “doing what was given to
you to do”. I have felt for many months now that I want to go back to
school, finish my graduate degree, and move forward in my nursing
career, but couldn’t fit it into my already packed schedule. Working
50+ hours a week and being on call 24/7 was not working for me and it
was hurting my spirit.
I have been meditating on this quandary, talking to my sponsor about
it, and praying to my higher power. Trusting the Universe’s plan, I
enrolled in classes this fall and planned on giving my resignation,
still unsure from where the money was going to come. Last night the
answer was unveiled. The necessary money has been given to me and I
can now move forward with what I know, in my heart, has been given to
me to do!
From our good friend Joshua……….
This is a brilliant example of much of what I talk about on the show, and how it works in our daily lives if we let it. My gratitude to Joshua for letting me share his words. Kurt
I have really been feeling acceleration lately and feel so grateful that it is bringing me Love and joy while many others are being met with confusion, frustration, and despair. I am especially amazed that where I used to have to ‘take the flashlight in to the dark corners’ to find what needs to be healed now shows up like a perfectly wrapped gift waiting on my doorstep each day. I used to feel afraid to open the box and find out what is inside but have now realized that it is the same perfect gift each time and no matter how many times I receive it, it never gets old: the gift is HEALING itself!
From our friend Paul, with my gratitude
Hard to settle. Felt silly. Lost in thoughts. Accepted all of this. It’s been a while.
Saw my garden, very large woman there. Tall, ethereal, beautiful legs and hair, couldn’t see anything else. Said she was river woman and then started waving hair and legs as one, turning flips, spinning.
I pushed her away (I felt she was not mine and I wasn’t ready for her, or that her presence there was somehow premature or not right) and slipped back out, to thoughts and plans.
Made it back, called out, saw the monk. Settled in front of him. He was answering before I asked. Do the work. You know this. What’s the work? The connection. With what? Yourself. Your true, authentic self. There’s nothing else.
There was a handle on the ground, shiny metal. Sometimes looked like the handle on the back of a bull, like in the rodeo. He said, “Sit here and hold that, no matter what; it will take you to the center. All other things fall away. Leave ‘Should I go to the workshop in July’ and ‘How will I pay my bills’ on the outside with the birds and trees. They take care of themselves. What’s out there isn’t connected to your true self, isn’t its concern.”
I held to the handle, and the earth moved, then took off like a rocket. I held on, through storms and wind and rain and flying, then we went into a center of light. I held back, then released fully into it, and it exploded with light through all the realms, and then there was only light. No me, no handle, no center, no decisions, just light. It felt eternal. I said to myself, “Float in that space without thoughts.”
I was back with the monk. I asked again about the workshop, feeling kind of silly but wanting to share the insights, and he shrugged. I said “I don’t know what I’ll be doing the last week of July, and that’s okay. It will be the right thing.” And he said, “There is no last week of July. There is only light.”
Then I realized that I knew all along what I need to do; the worry comes from trying to figure out what I’m going to do. There’s only been one thing, the connection to the light, and it’s always been so. I had an image of myself calm and centered while all the “stuff” in my life works itself out. People were amazed at this, and I just said, “That stuff just works itself out; it isn’t mine.”